No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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