There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
