hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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