It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This is classic penis vs brain.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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