It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
