theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize