shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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