Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
