Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
