I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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