Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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