About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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