i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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