i was rollin on her like bob the builder
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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