so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
