ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
