no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
