i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
