I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
