Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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