the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
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Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
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I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it