whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize