I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly