Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.

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(907): I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are. http://tfl.nu/tm8o

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(217): View more from Illinois

I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in

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(217): I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in http://tfl.nu/womw

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(904): View more from Florida

Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.

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(904): Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once. http://tfl.nu/hkfi

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome

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(414): i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome http://tfl.nu/01jd

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious

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(732): she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious http://tfl.nu/xtk1

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(613): View more from Ontario

Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.

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(613): Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day. http://tfl.nu/hbn0

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(205): View more from Alabama

They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?

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(205): They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level? http://tfl.nu/pz2g

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(313): View more from Michigan

My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

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(313): My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar http://tfl.nu/fy9n

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(903): View more from Texas

Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me

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(903): Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me http://tfl.nu/adub

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(360): View more from Washington

He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.

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(360): He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way. http://tfl.nu/k068

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(760): View more from California

Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!

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(760): Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it! http://tfl.nu/qsog

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(804): View more from Virginia

I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?

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(804): I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again? http://tfl.nu/ryyt

Replies (2) Good night (1003) Bad night (425)
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(970): View more from Colorado

From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.

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(970): From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick. http://tfl.nu/h7vg

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I need a hug and tequila

(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now

(865): View more from Tennessee

This is why we need to live in the same city again

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(865): I need a hug and tequila (615): I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now (865): This is why we need to live in the same city again http://tfl.nu/bxgt

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(770): View more from Georgia

Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.

(404): View more from Georgia

Good luck

(770): View more from Georgia

Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes

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(770): Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit. (404): Good luck (770): Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes http://tfl.nu/dpso

Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (232)

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