It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
