Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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