I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Michael Bay diarrhea
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
