i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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