On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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