GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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