It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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