We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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