Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just found a bag of teeth...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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