I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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