We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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