Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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