dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
