well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
