If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
this is an emotional support booty call
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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