I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize