you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
