she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They have beer where we have blood.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
