I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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