It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I am naked and annoyed.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
