I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize