They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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