Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
