How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
