Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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