what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
