If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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