i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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