at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
