when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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