don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
