Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
